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CUSTOM T-SHIRTS

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Custom Logo / Image Tee Shirts 

• Show Them to Me !
• Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time 
• Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam  
• That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!  
• Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up 
• Procrastinate Now 
• Rehab Is for Quitters 
• My Dog Can Lick Anyone 
• Real Men Don't Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair 
• I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts -- Do You Want Fries With That? 
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• Party -- My Crib - Two A.M.  
• If a woman's place is in the home WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THIS CAR! 
• FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software. 
• I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN 
• Filthy, Stinking, Rich -- Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad 
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes 
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance 
• STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere! 
• Where there's a will I want to be in it 
• How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff? 
• He who dies with the most toys is still dead 
• HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH 
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 
• HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW! 
• The trouble with life is there's no background music. 
• IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX? 
• Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane. 
• MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT 
• Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit. 
• Computer programmers know how to use their hardware. 
• Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
• Sorry - No Boobs here ! 
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• Git-R-Done
• EH! Team
• Tell Your Boobs To Stop Staring At My Eyes 
• Sex Instructor: First Lesson Free
• I Ain’t Getting Paid to Entertain
• You Can Look But Don’t Touch
• It’s a Vegan Thing, you Wouldn’t Understand
• Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up 
• Procrastinate Now 
• Rehab Is for Quitters 
• My Dog Can Lick Anyone 
• I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts–Do You Want Fries With That? 
• ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING 
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• You believe in love at first sight? I can walk by again?  
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes 
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance 
• STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere! 
• DISCOURAGE INBREEDING – Ban Country Music 
• MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a moose 
• Live Bait  
• He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead 
• POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN …. Cops have nothing to go on. 
• FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once. 
• HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON’T BELIEVE IN GOSH 
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• Does your face hurt? Because it’s killing me! 
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 
• WELCOME TO KENTUCKY – Set your watch back 20 years. 
• The trouble with life is there’s no background music. 
• IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX? 
• Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake! 
• The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 
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• MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT 
• Computer programmers don’t byte, they nybble a bit. 
• Don’t ask me about my day. 
• Save the trees. Wipe your arse with an owl. 
• NIPER: No Need To Run…You’ll Only Die Tired.
• Pain Is Fear Leaving The Body
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• Parents told me I could be anything, I became an ARSE-HOLE!
• If at first you don’t succeed, get someone else to do it.
• Keep staring: I’ve got a clear shot.
• Cereal Killer
• Just be glad I’m not your kid.
• Just because I flirt doesn’t mean I’m interested.
• My mom can beat up your dad.
• Sorry I missed church. I was performing a human sacrifice.
• I’m out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
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• Love my country – Fear my government
• Practice safe sex. Go fu*k yourself!
• Just another shi*ty day in paradise.
• More Do You Want? 
• If a Man Speaks in a Forest Where No Woman Can Hear, Is He Still Wrong? 
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• I’m Only Wearing Black Until They Make Something Darker 
• I Live in My Own World But It’s OK – They Know Me Here 
• …And You Say Psycho Like It’s a Bad Thing 
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• No Outfit Is Complete Without a Little Cat Fur 
• Chaos, Panic, Disorder… My Work Here Is Done 
• I Hear Voices – And They Don’t Like You 
• If Idiots Could Fly, This Place Would Be an Airport 
• On the Eighth Day, God Created Ontario 
• Life’s Too Short to Dance With Ugly Women 
• Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off 
• My Husband Is a Great Lover..He Knows All My Erroneous Zones 
• Never Give the Devil a Ride – He’ll Want to Drive 
• Pray to God but Keep On Rowing Toward Shore 
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• You Just Gave Me Something to Live for – Revenge! 
• Make It Idiot Proof, and Someone Will Make a Better Idiot 
• Don’t Assume That I Cook 
• Good Girls Are Bad Girls That Never Get Caught 
• You’re a Naughty Girl – Go to My Room! 
• Now I Know Why Some Animals Eat Their Young! 
• Age and Treachery Will Always Beat Youth and Skill 
• I May Be Wrong 
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• God Made Only a Few Great Heads – On the Others, He Put Hair 
• I Have Twins – What’s Your Excuse? 
• Consciousness – That Annoying Time Between Naps 
• Foreign Service Officers Do It in More Places 
• Marriage Has Cured My Fear of Being Alone 
• Bomb Expert – If You See Me Running, Try to Keep Up! 
• Drill ‘Em, Fill ‘Em, Bill ‘Em 
• I Used Up All My Sick Days, So I Called in Dead 
• Support OPEC – Drive an SUV 
• I’m Not Shy – I’m Just Examining My Prey 
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• You Non-Conformists Are All Alike 
• Albert Winestein – Drink a Few Glasses and Become a Genius 
• Repent – and Sin Some More 
• I Used to Have a Handle on Life, but It Broke 
• Beauty Is in the Eye of the Beer Holder 
• Growing Old Is Mandatory – Growing Up Is Optional 
• My Job Is Secure – Nobody Wants It 
• If All the World’s a Stage, I Want Better Lighting 
• When God Made Me, He Was Just Showing Off 
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• Doesn’t Play Well With Others 
• Choose Your Sick Days Carefully 
• Summer in Nags Head, Some Are Not 
• Congratulate Me, I Used to Be Anorexic 
• I’m Too Sexy for My Hair, That’s Why It Isn’t There 
• I Get Enough Exercise Just Pushing My Luck 
• Ran Into My Ex – Put It in Reverse and Hit Him Again! 
• Statistics Means Never Having to Say You’re Certain 
• Got Rid of the Kids, the Cat Was Allergic 
• Where Are We Going? Why Am I in This Handbasket? 
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• I Am Not a Pack Rat – I Am a Collector 
• I’m So Great I’m Jealous of Myself 
• I’ve Been on So Many Blind Dates That I Get a Free Dog 
• Due to Budget Cuts, the Light at the End of the Tunnel Has Been Cut Off 
• I Wish the Buck Stopped Here – I Could Use a Few 
• Where There’s a Will, I Want to Be in It 
• This Is Not the Life I Ordered 
• Beer Is Proof That God Loves Us and Wants Us to Be Happy 
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• I Am the Only Hell That My Mother Ever Raised 
• My Wild Oats Have Turned to Oat Bran 
• Out of My Mind – Will Be Back Shortly 
• If You Can’t Speak Softly, Just Use the Stick 
• Alimony: A System Whereby Two People Make a Mistake and One of Them Continues to Pay for It 
• Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart 
• Shin: A Device for Finding Furniture in the Dark 
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• I’m Not Cynical – Just Experienced 
• Today Was a Total Waste of Makeup 
• Do You Want to Talk to the Man in Charge, or to the Woman Who Knows What’s Going On? 
• Stop Following Me – I’m Not a Shoplifter 
• You Have the Right to Remain Silent, So Please Shut Up! 
• I Know About Stressed – It’s Desserts Spelled Backwards 
• Going Downhill Is Uphill Work 
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• I’d Kill for a Nobel Peace Prize 
• I Have the Body of a God. Unfortunately the God Is Buddha 
• Places to Go, People to Annoy 
• I’m a Natural Blonde – Speak Slowly 
• Of Course I Don’t Look Busy – I Did It Right the First Time 
• Damn Straight I’m a College Grad – Paper or Plastic? 
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• Army: Be All That You’re Told to Be 
• I Used to Be Schizophrenic, But Now We’re Just Fine 
• Sky Diving – Speed Limit 120 MPH (Not Strictly Enforced) 
• Guys Have Feelings, Too. But Like, Who Cares? 
• If You Can’t Beat Them, Arrange to Have Them Beaten 
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• I Went Hunting and All I Caught Was a Cold 
• He Who Dies With the Most Toys Wins – But He Still Dies 
• Welcome to Kentucky – Set Your Watch Back 20 Years 
• Practice Safe Food – Use Condiments 
• Five Out of Four People Don’t Understand Fractions 
• Men and Women Are From Earth – Deal With It 
• I’m Not Fat – I’m Just Fluffy 
• Our Lady of Perpetual Mood Swings 
• I Chose the Road Less Traveled – Now Where the Heck Am I? 
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• Hugs Are Fully Returnable 
• When You’re In Love, It Shows 
• Next Time You Think You’re So Smart, Try Walking on Water 
• And You’re Telling Me This Because… 
• I’m in Shape – Round Is a Shape 
• Life Is Uncertain – Eat Dessert First 
• Don’t Make Me Put My Hand on My Hip 
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• Chaos! Panic! Disorder! My Work Here Is Done! 
• Don’t Touch and Don’t Ask 
• I Can Fix Anything – Where’s the Duct Tape? 
• Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off 
• Rehab Is for Quitters! 
• I’m Only Wearing Black Until They Find Something Darker 
• Ones in Their Right Minds! 
• Body by Beer 
• My Cat Kneads Me 
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• Dad Knows a Lot, But Grandpa Knows EVERYTHING! 
• From the Desk of Toto: Dear Dorothy – Hate Oz, Took the Shoes, Find Your Own Way Home! 
• Here I Am – Now What Are Your Other Two Wishes? 
• 24 Hours in a Day, 24 Beers in a Case – Coincidence? 
• I Don’t Think Much – Therefore, I May Not Be 
• When Your Dreams Turn to Dust, Vacuum 
• I’m from the Nation’s Capital – Nobody’s Perfect 
• Out of Body – Back in Ten Minutes 
• Where There’s a Will… I Want to Be in It 
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• Always Remember You’re Unique – Just Like Everyone Else 
• Keep Grandma Off the Streets – Take Her to Bingo 
• In Dog Years, I’m Dead 
• How’s My Walker? Call 1-800-OLDFOLK 
• Remember, You Either Find Time to Exercise or You’ll Have to Find Time to Be Sick 
• Don’t Worry, It Only Seems Kinky the First Time 
• The Quickest Way to Double Your Money Is to Fold It in Half and Put It in Your Pocket 
• Before You Criticize Someone, You Should Walk a Mile in Their Shoes – That Way, When You Criticize Them, You’re a Mile Away and You Have a 
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• New Pair of Shoes 
• I Bent the Rules and the Rules Won 
• I childproofed my house, but they still get in.
• 60 is not old. If you’re a tree.
• I’m still hot. It just comes in flashes.
• My reality check just bounced.
• Life is short, make fun of it.
• I’m not 50. I’m $49.95 plus tax.
• Annapolis–A drinking town with a sailing problem.
• I need somebody bad. Are you bad?
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• Physically pffffffft!
• I’m not a snob. I’m just better than you are.
• It’s my cat’s world. I’m just here to open cans.
• Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.
• Keep staring….I may do a trick.
• We got rid of the kids. The cat was allergic.
• Dangerously under-medicated.

Tee Shirt Color Index

Black                                      Light Gray